That response comes from a lack of self-confidence. Many people don’t have the self-confidence to make something of their future.

“…and the first thing I should do is stop saying ‘I can’t’ and be confident enough to go for what I want!” Most of my clients interrupt as they remember previous sessions.

Yes, that is so. Let me tell you, self-confidence is one of the greatest worldly goods that you should strive to possess. In some ways, it is, without doubt, the most important skill you can develop.

You see, with confidence, many more things become within your reach. On the other hand, without confidence, even the smallest of challenges seem overwhelming, if not impossible to achieve.

Let me ask you this: how many times have you ‘surprised’ yourself and did things you didn’t think you could do? Probably many, right?

Yet you forget those powerful, confident times and you only seem to remember the unconfident events. In doing so you perceive life as big and scary and you see yourself as weak and fragile.

That’s just an illusion that you have created. The truth is you are bigger than any obstacle or challenge.

How many times have you looked back on a situation and realised that in your mind you made it be bigger than it really was?

Do you see what I mean?

Let me finish off by saying this. You have a certain amount of self-confidence already within you. The trick, though, is to use any challenge that you come across to help you grow and expand on that self-confidence.

Are you willing to greet all challenges as steps that get you closer to the future that you want?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

Elaine’s like that.

So not wasting time, I asked her, “How would you rate your self-confidence, where 1 is totally confident and 10 is whoa, no confidence at all.”

I think you guessed it; she went for a full 10. No surprises there.

In her anxiety, Elaine had forgotten a particular technique that I taught her a few sessions ago, that she can use at will to raise her self-confidence level, and allow her to make a fantastic presentation.

We went over it again: divide a paper into two columns; in the left column jot down why she feels unconfident about the event. In the other column, write down the first thought that comes to her mind as to how she would like to feel for each reason she felt uneasy.

I watched as her mind started ticking over, searching for the rest of the technique. So I continued, “As far in advance of the presentation as possible, pick one obstacle with its counter feeling…”

“Oh, yeah, and find a quiet place where I will not be disturbed for approximately five minutes,” Eileen interrupted. “I remember now. The idea is for me to imagine how I would like to act and feel when making the presentation. I am to imagine me feeling calm and confident, right?”

Correct.

“Continue to work down your entire list. Imagine being confident. As the presentation gets closer, you will feel yourself becoming more confident.”

“And on the day of the event, I fly through it with complete assurance and confidence. I remember it now. I don’t know what I was so nervous about. Silly me!” she finished.

Let me just throw in this bit: it’s important to remember that repetition is the mother of all skill. When you use your imagination to tackle any area where you feel you lack self-confidence, use this method as often as possible, preferably twice daily, until you achieve the results you want.

How much do you value yourself to spend 5 minutes twice a day imagining your own success?

Oh, by the way. I called Elaine to check how she did. And wouldn’t you know it: “I blew them away!” was her response.

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

In other words, were they born with self-assurance, poise and courage, or did they obtain it through repeated practise and determination?

Although we can’t generalise, I tend to find that they became confident by being students of self-confidence; they were exposed to it more than some of us.

Often people who are rich have had role models of confident, ambitious, motivated people in their lives from very early on. And, if they didn’t have it from home, they were drawn to people who were confident from an early age, and mimicked them.

We all mimic people, especially when we’re very young, it’s a human survival mechanism. The more professional term is called finding a ‘role-model’.

These people would also read and listen to anything they could get their hands on relating to self-confidence, motivation, performance, achieving, succeeding and lots more.

The great news here is that you, too, can learn to become totally confident. You can become confident in any area you choose to work on, so long as you have the tools and knowledge at your hands.

You can learn to have and become confident in much the same way that you learned how to drive a car, how to cook, how to sing, how to be good at your job, how to use the computer.

For you to gain self-confidence, start off by believing in yourself, that you can become confident to succeed in anything that you put your mind to. It’s a well known fact that if one person can do it anyone can.

Strengthen your inner self and get your thoughts to gradually gain momentum by making a list of what you would be able to do, have and become once you acquire the confidence that you desire.

Once you have that list, the next step is for you to believe that you can become that confident person, and walk around with the thought and attitude of, “I choose to be confident and my confidence is increasing every day.”

If you wanted to step up and become the confident person you have always wanted to become, would you repeat a certain, powerful phrase or statement to yourself as often as possible?

If your answer is yes, go ahead, right now, repeat this statement 5 – 10 times, preferably out loud:

“I choose to be confident and my confidence is increasing every day.”

Well done!

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

“It is essential to balance the mind and the body,” I informed a client at the beginning of the second coaching session. “You can’t have one without the other; they compliment each other.”

Far too many people focus their efforts on improving their mental patterns and behaviour, and neglect another important part of their success, and that is their body.

An enriched body, enhanced through exercise, creates a stronger essence within you, makes you feel better about yourself and increases your self-confidence. And the great added advantage is that it reduces stress by as much as 65%.

By simply exercising moderately 3 or 4 times a week you gain all of the above benefits, and more importantly you get rid of that ‘dream crusher’ called stress.

When you reap all of these benefits you will have a strong sense of physical and mental balance that will carry you forward in achieving your desires in your life.

Likewise, coaching is about stepping up in all areas of your life to create a balanced approach to life.

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

At least that’s how it appears to us. Although, in reality, they probably practised each role for as long as it took until it became second nature to them.

I believe that everyone has a dream, or a desire, that they want to accomplish in life. Some do not achieve their dreams because they perceive them to be unachievable, others start down the road of actualisation, but have the tendency to quit somewhere down the winding road, especially when they face a few setbacks or run into barriers along the way.

Firstly, no realistic dream is unachievable. Secondly, setbacks can be challenged and learned from, and barriers can be removed.

A client of ours, a highly successful marketing executive, had long dreamed of sitting in the director’s chair. The dream had remained on the starting block for years, until one day he grew tired of the long wait, and had decided that he would learn all that he could about that role, and even go one step further; he would take on the part and act as if he is successfully living his dream as the marketing director.

To play the part more convincingly and appropriately, he felt he required the impetus from a qualified coach: one who would support him and explore with him all the available resources in finding the most suitable script for the part, by allowing him to broaden his scope of thinking and learning, to be confident in his new character in preparation for its actualisation.

If you were to choose a movie, a dream, that you would like to play the lead role in, what character would you like to act?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

A CEO from a well-established company has lead the expansion of his own company three times within a few years of its establishment. Yet he constantly faced a lack of leadership in his ability to create magic moments with his two young children.

On his way home, after our third and most mind-storming session, a thought suddenly came to him. He immediately put down the newspaper and reflected on that thought: I learned to be a leader because I was quick to realise and accept that every challenge had presented me with an opportunity to grow.

From that moment, a personal vision came to effect. And that was to commit to lead and spend at least one high quality hour with his children every night, no matter what.

If you were to take the lead to improve on the quality of your life, what one action are you prepared to commit to for the coming three months?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

As he outlined this event to me a few days later, I could clearly see that he was taken aback by her reaction. He never considered himself to be a negative person whether at work or at home. And he certainly thought he appreciated his staff.

I asked him to carry a notebook with him at all times, and to always make sure it was visible to him; to serve as a reminder to note down any time he felt or said anything negative. For this inventory to be effective, he was to include a weekend day.

At our next session, we tallied up his negative thoughts; they were, to his surprise, rather high. Now that he became aware of that, the next step was to eliminate them. As soon as a negative thought came to mind, he was to stop it and turn it into a positive statement. If he cannot think of one, he could turn the negative into an appreciative thought.

When you notice you are having a negative thought, one powerful method to stop and counter that is to say, “CANCEL THAT”, to yourself or out loud. Another method is to wear a rubber band on your wrist, and when you become aware of that negativity creeping in, snap that rubber band. The sting will divert your thoughts from that negative thinking, and you can turn that interception into a positive or appreciative thought.

If you were to catch yourself thinking, or talking, negatively about someone or a situation, what tool would you use to put an immediate halt to that negative thought?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

To play our part in preparing our children, as they grow into young adults and beyond, it is important that we always remember to keep their best interest at hand. And we do this by keeping a keen eye on what they are good at and what they enjoy doing.

A very open-minded and joyful company director one day realised that his seven year old son really enjoys putting things together. He would confidently and happily spend hours in his world of creativity.

This man accepted that it was his responsibility, as a father, to expand on the boy’s interest. Yet he was unsure how to encourage him without the boy thinking that his dad was interfering or pressuring him, resulting in the boy losing interest.

By working closely with a coach the father decided that he would indirectly build on that creative confidence. And then he would use that stack to expand on his son’s ability to succeed in other areas in his own way.

If you want to build greater confidence in your children, in a way that they feel that they had gained that extra spurt on their own, how would you plan to achieve it?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building In 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

What about the other habits, those that make up who some people are: always a cigarette with a cup of coffee, too shy to attend social events, not courageous enough to ask a person on a date.

A mother, who worked as an executive in the financial district of London, said: “I want to be confident enough to make something more out of my life. Yet I have a habit of running away from opportunities that I know would really benefit me. Can I change this habit?”

We create our habits because we are creatures of habit. And we can change our habits to better our life.

Following a number of sessions with an executive coach, the mother began to see a number of small opportunities; these were her own, they were her ideas that she was happy to incorporate, and as time went by, she used these to build her confidence.

The small opportunities became small successes and she built on the confidence gained from these to start exploring and taking on board larger and more challenging ones. In this way, she naturally integrated new habits into her way of life.

Get into the routine of changing your old habits by making one small change every day, large or small. The possibility for change is always there, every moment of every day.

Create and practise habits that support how you want to be, and notice how new doors of opportunities begin to open.

If there is a habit that is not allowing you to make an improvement in your life, what would that habit be?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building In 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

And more importantly, the journey begins the moment you make the decision to be successful, and then by making the right choices that are congruent with that decision.

An executive in a thriving cosmetic company had often thought of resigning as she felt she didn’t have the qualifications to progress any further, and, as a single, working mother, she couldn’t find the time to improve on her credentials.

By the end of the second session, this lady had made a decision that would advance her career. By deciding to reach higher, she made the decision to invest in herself, to learn more so she can offer more.

To do that, she chose to commit at least one hour every night to study, rather than watch television, once the children were asleep.

If you were to make one decision today that would have a positive impact on your life, what would that be?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE ebook Self-Confidence Building In 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.