Confidence Blog

“Oh my word, I have been lumbered with making a Health and Safety presentation to my department. I’ve never done this before, and I can’t get out of it. Help!” Elaine said anxiously as she took off her coat, brushing past me.

Elaine’s like that.

So not wasting time, I asked her, “How would you rate your self-confidence, where 1 is totally confident and 10 is whoa, no confidence at all.”

I think you guessed it; she went for a full 10. No surprises there.

In her anxiety, Elaine had forgotten a particular technique that I taught her a few sessions ago, that she can use at will to raise her self-confidence level, and allow her to make a fantastic presentation.

We went over it again: divide a paper into two columns; in the left column jot down why she feels unconfident about the event. In the other column, write down the first thought that comes to her mind as to how she would like to feel for each reason she felt uneasy.

I watched as her mind started ticking over, searching for the rest of the technique. So I continued, “As far in advance of the presentation as possible, pick one obstacle with its counter feeling…”

“Oh, yeah, and find a quiet place where I will not be disturbed for approximately five minutes,” Eileen interrupted. “I remember now. The idea is for me to imagine how I would like to act and feel when making the presentation. I am to imagine me feeling calm and confident, right?”

Correct.

“Continue to work down your entire list. Imagine being confident. As the presentation gets closer, you will feel yourself becoming more confident.”

“And on the day of the event, I fly through it with complete assurance and confidence. I remember it now. I don’t know what I was so nervous about. Silly me!” she finished.

Let me just throw in this bit: it’s important to remember that repetition is the mother of all skill. When you use your imagination to tackle any area where you feel you lack self-confidence, use this method as often as possible, preferably twice daily, until you achieve the results you want.

How much do you value yourself to spend 5 minutes twice a day imagining your own success?

Oh, by the way. I called Elaine to check how she did. And wouldn’t you know it: “I blew them away!” was her response.

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

To obtain and retain a peak level of performance in the long term, it is not enough to have a balance in all areas of your mental life; as in achieving a balance in your relationships, your business, your spiritual and your career.

“It is essential to balance the mind and the body,” I informed a client at the beginning of the second coaching session. “You can’t have one without the other; they compliment each other.”

Far too many people focus their efforts on improving their mental patterns and behaviour, and neglect another important part of their success, and that is their body.

An enriched body, enhanced through exercise, creates a stronger essence within you, makes you feel better about yourself and increases your self-confidence. And the great added advantage is that it reduces stress by as much as 65%.

By simply exercising moderately 3 or 4 times a week you gain all of the above benefits, and more importantly you get rid of that ‘dream crusher’ called stress.

When you reap all of these benefits you will have a strong sense of physical and mental balance that will carry you forward in achieving your desires in your life.

Likewise, coaching is about stepping up in all areas of your life to create a balanced approach to life.

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

At times, I am amazed at how actors can skip from one role to another – from a fantasy comedy character to a vicious gang leader – and they seem to step into the relevant characters with ease.

At least that’s how it appears to us. Although, in reality, they probably practised each role for as long as it took until it became second nature to them.

I believe that everyone has a dream, or a desire, that they want to accomplish in life. Some do not achieve their dreams because they perceive them to be unachievable, others start down the road of actualisation, but have the tendency to quit somewhere down the winding road, especially when they face a few setbacks or run into barriers along the way.

Firstly, no realistic dream is unachievable. Secondly, setbacks can be challenged and learned from, and barriers can be removed.

A client of ours, a highly successful marketing executive, had long dreamed of sitting in the director’s chair. The dream had remained on the starting block for years, until one day he grew tired of the long wait, and had decided that he would learn all that he could about that role, and even go one step further; he would take on the part and act as if he is successfully living his dream as the marketing director.

To play the part more convincingly and appropriately, he felt he required the impetus from a qualified coach: one who would support him and explore with him all the available resources in finding the most suitable script for the part, by allowing him to broaden his scope of thinking and learning, to be confident in his new character in preparation for its actualisation.

If you were to choose a movie, a dream, that you would like to play the lead role in, what character would you like to act?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

“Where do you see yourself in five years time?” This is a common interview question. Yet many of us do not give it a second or more serious thought in our daily lives. It is, in fact, a very powerful, perhaps life-changing, question.

I once stretched that question even further with one of my new clients: “Where do you see yourself in five years time if your life was perfect in every way? If you had all the resources available to you, what would your life be like in five years?”

This tall, well-groomed executive sank deeper into his chair and stared blankly at the wall ahead of him. He admitted that he had never planned anything in his life. Opportunities seem to knock on his door and only then would he make the most of them. He wasn’t one to plan ahead, at least not until now; the night of his fiftieth birthday.

After a lot of deliberation and bouncing off ideas, we came to the realisation that all he wanted was to feel like a new person and to live each day with joy and energy. That on his fifty-fifth birthday he would feel more rejuvenated and very energetic.

I felt that this was a good start, yet he could want more, much more, if he really thought about it, if he had all the necessary resources. We decided to start slow and establish quarterly goals. And with every goal that he would reach, we would expand and set new more challenging ones.

In this way we would gradually build on his wanting to improve on his level of fitness and health, and we could, in time, discover more ‘wants’ along the way as we focus on creating his ideal life.

If you were to imagine you had all the resources you need to create your perfect life, what would that perfect life look like in five years time? How would you see it?

Hani Al-Qasem

Do you want to learn how to have a more meaningful life and expand your personal capacity to assert your self-confidence, have inner peace, live a smoke-free and healthy life, easily lose weight and beat procrastination to achieve all your goals? Find out here: http://www.insight4you.com

Hani Al-Qasem is a self-improvement expert. He co-authored the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.” Go to the website above now and download your FREE copy of the e-book and start today to change your life for the better.

An agitated and troubled client came to see me not so long ago. He went straight into the session before he had his usual cup of tea.

“I don’t understand why the Managing Director favours the other managers and overlooks my contributions. That’s not right!” He said, shaking his head.

This perturbed client had felt for a long time that his Managing Director was more partial to the other managers, despite their obvious lack of commitment to their job and the company.

“Why can’t he see that I am more committed and productive than they are?” he went on to explain.

“A winner is someone who does not compare himself to others.”

By releasing the negative burden of comparison, the person will feel more at ease, and becomes more productive in a way that produces better results.

This way the client would focus his attention on himself, to perform at his best, rather than on the people he is comparing himself to. And in doing so, he will do what he thinks must be done and not be influenced by the others.

The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself.

If you were to adopt the Winner mentality today, would you be able to release the temptation to compare yourself to others?

Hani Al-Qasem
For more information on how to have a meaningful life and to expand your personal capacity for happiness and success, visit: http://www.insight4you.com

Hani Al-Qasem is a self-improvement expert. He co-authored the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.” Go to the website above now and download your FREE copy of the e-book and start today to change your life for the better.