Confidence Blog

I just happened to read this whilst on a train the other day; it got me thinking how many of my clients say they can’t plan today, yet alone tomorrow or the future. When I ask them why, the response is usually, “I can’t get what I want anyway, so I might as well live each day as it is.”

That response comes from a lack of self-confidence. Many people don’t have the self-confidence to make something of their future.

“…and the first thing I should do is stop saying ‘I can’t’ and be confident enough to go for what I want!” Most of my clients interrupt as they remember previous sessions.

Yes, that is so. Let me tell you, self-confidence is one of the greatest worldly goods that you should strive to possess. In some ways, it is, without doubt, the most important skill you can develop.

You see, with confidence, many more things become within your reach. On the other hand, without confidence, even the smallest of challenges seem overwhelming, if not impossible to achieve.

Let me ask you this: how many times have you ‘surprised’ yourself and did things you didn’t think you could do? Probably many, right?

Yet you forget those powerful, confident times and you only seem to remember the unconfident events. In doing so you perceive life as big and scary and you see yourself as weak and fragile.

That’s just an illusion that you have created. The truth is you are bigger than any obstacle or challenge.

How many times have you looked back on a situation and realised that in your mind you made it be bigger than it really was?

Do you see what I mean?

Let me finish off by saying this. You have a certain amount of self-confidence already within you. The trick, though, is to use any challenge that you come across to help you grow and expand on that self-confidence.

Are you willing to greet all challenges as steps that get you closer to the future that you want?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

“Oh my word, I have been lumbered with making a Health and Safety presentation to my department. I’ve never done this before, and I can’t get out of it. Help!” Elaine said anxiously as she took off her coat, brushing past me.

Elaine’s like that.

So not wasting time, I asked her, “How would you rate your self-confidence, where 1 is totally confident and 10 is whoa, no confidence at all.”

I think you guessed it; she went for a full 10. No surprises there.

In her anxiety, Elaine had forgotten a particular technique that I taught her a few sessions ago, that she can use at will to raise her self-confidence level, and allow her to make a fantastic presentation.

We went over it again: divide a paper into two columns; in the left column jot down why she feels unconfident about the event. In the other column, write down the first thought that comes to her mind as to how she would like to feel for each reason she felt uneasy.

I watched as her mind started ticking over, searching for the rest of the technique. So I continued, “As far in advance of the presentation as possible, pick one obstacle with its counter feeling…”

“Oh, yeah, and find a quiet place where I will not be disturbed for approximately five minutes,” Eileen interrupted. “I remember now. The idea is for me to imagine how I would like to act and feel when making the presentation. I am to imagine me feeling calm and confident, right?”

Correct.

“Continue to work down your entire list. Imagine being confident. As the presentation gets closer, you will feel yourself becoming more confident.”

“And on the day of the event, I fly through it with complete assurance and confidence. I remember it now. I don’t know what I was so nervous about. Silly me!” she finished.

Let me just throw in this bit: it’s important to remember that repetition is the mother of all skill. When you use your imagination to tackle any area where you feel you lack self-confidence, use this method as often as possible, preferably twice daily, until you achieve the results you want.

How much do you value yourself to spend 5 minutes twice a day imagining your own success?

Oh, by the way. I called Elaine to check how she did. And wouldn’t you know it: “I blew them away!” was her response.

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

Many of my clients often ask me this question: Were rich and successful people born with self-confidence, or did they have to also work at it?

In other words, were they born with self-assurance, poise and courage, or did they obtain it through repeated practise and determination?

Although we can’t generalise, I tend to find that they became confident by being students of self-confidence; they were exposed to it more than some of us.

Often people who are rich have had role models of confident, ambitious, motivated people in their lives from very early on. And, if they didn’t have it from home, they were drawn to people who were confident from an early age, and mimicked them.

We all mimic people, especially when we’re very young, it’s a human survival mechanism. The more professional term is called finding a ‘role-model’.

These people would also read and listen to anything they could get their hands on relating to self-confidence, motivation, performance, achieving, succeeding and lots more.

The great news here is that you, too, can learn to become totally confident. You can become confident in any area you choose to work on, so long as you have the tools and knowledge at your hands.

You can learn to have and become confident in much the same way that you learned how to drive a car, how to cook, how to sing, how to be good at your job, how to use the computer.

For you to gain self-confidence, start off by believing in yourself, that you can become confident to succeed in anything that you put your mind to. It’s a well known fact that if one person can do it anyone can.

Strengthen your inner self and get your thoughts to gradually gain momentum by making a list of what you would be able to do, have and become once you acquire the confidence that you desire.

Once you have that list, the next step is for you to believe that you can become that confident person, and walk around with the thought and attitude of, “I choose to be confident and my confidence is increasing every day.”

If you wanted to step up and become the confident person you have always wanted to become, would you repeat a certain, powerful phrase or statement to yourself as often as possible?

If your answer is yes, go ahead, right now, repeat this statement 5 – 10 times, preferably out loud:

“I choose to be confident and my confidence is increasing every day.”

Well done!

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the FREE sample of the e-book Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and achieve all that you want.

At times, I am amazed at how actors can skip from one role to another – from a fantasy comedy character to a vicious gang leader – and they seem to step into the relevant characters with ease.

At least that’s how it appears to us. Although, in reality, they probably practised each role for as long as it took until it became second nature to them.

I believe that everyone has a dream, or a desire, that they want to accomplish in life. Some do not achieve their dreams because they perceive them to be unachievable, others start down the road of actualisation, but have the tendency to quit somewhere down the winding road, especially when they face a few setbacks or run into barriers along the way.

Firstly, no realistic dream is unachievable. Secondly, setbacks can be challenged and learned from, and barriers can be removed.

A client of ours, a highly successful marketing executive, had long dreamed of sitting in the director’s chair. The dream had remained on the starting block for years, until one day he grew tired of the long wait, and had decided that he would learn all that he could about that role, and even go one step further; he would take on the part and act as if he is successfully living his dream as the marketing director.

To play the part more convincingly and appropriately, he felt he required the impetus from a qualified coach: one who would support him and explore with him all the available resources in finding the most suitable script for the part, by allowing him to broaden his scope of thinking and learning, to be confident in his new character in preparation for its actualisation.

If you were to choose a movie, a dream, that you would like to play the lead role in, what character would you like to act?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

All great leaders have one particular great quality that, perhaps, stands out further than the others, and that is: they all have a vision. Their vision could vary and be as wide spread as from leading a company expansion or merger to creating a happy home environment.

A CEO from a well-established company has lead the expansion of his own company three times within a few years of its establishment. Yet he constantly faced a lack of leadership in his ability to create magic moments with his two young children.

On his way home, after our third and most mind-storming session, a thought suddenly came to him. He immediately put down the newspaper and reflected on that thought: I learned to be a leader because I was quick to realise and accept that every challenge had presented me with an opportunity to grow.

From that moment, a personal vision came to effect. And that was to commit to lead and spend at least one high quality hour with his children every night, no matter what.

If you were to take the lead to improve on the quality of your life, what one action are you prepared to commit to for the coming three months?

Hani Al-Qasem

Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”

Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.