“You are so negative. Why not try being positive and appreciative just for once in your life?” cried a disgruntled executive as she glared across her Managing Director’s wide desk. Then she turned on her heels and sternly walked out of his office, feeling proud of herself.
As he outlined this event to me a few days later, I could clearly see that he was taken aback by her reaction. He never considered himself to be a negative person whether at work or at home. And he certainly thought he appreciated his staff.
I asked him to carry a notebook with him at all times, and to always make sure it was visible to him; to serve as a reminder to note down any time he felt or said anything negative. For this inventory to be effective, he was to include a weekend day.
At our next session, we tallied up his negative thoughts; they were, to his surprise, rather high. Now that he became aware of that, the next step was to eliminate them. As soon as a negative thought came to mind, he was to stop it and turn it into a positive statement. If he cannot think of one, he could turn the negative into an appreciative thought.
When you notice you are having a negative thought, one powerful method to stop and counter that is to say, “CANCEL THAT”, to yourself or out loud. Another method is to wear a rubber band on your wrist, and when you become aware of that negativity creeping in, snap that rubber band. The sting will divert your thoughts from that negative thinking, and you can turn that interception into a positive or appreciative thought.
If you were to catch yourself thinking, or talking, negatively about someone or a situation, what tool would you use to put an immediate halt to that negative thought?
Hani Al-Qasem
Hani Al-Qasem and Natalie Dee are the co-authors of the e-book “Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps.”
Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.
